Blaming other people or yourself is not good either. Are both painful and damaging to relationships with humans. When feeling uncomfortable, facing failure, feeling hurt and angry, blaming others and cursing yourself is usually the first thing to do. Finding scapegoats takes precedence over seeking the truth. This is where the importance of learning to be calm and wise in facing every problem.
Why do we have to learn to stop blaming?
- Anyone’s mistakes can be made, including those we love. However, that does not mean that the relationship that occurs between people is always based on right or wrong. That mistake must have happened, both large and small. The size and size are determined by the human perspective itself, regardless of the presence / absence of social consensus through the values and norms that determine the size of the error. The more blame others, the more difficult we develop. The time we have, at the very least, will be used up to think of someone we think is wrong. Finally, we do anything for anger towards him or even we do nothing, just busy cursing and blaming him.
- Failure to achieve something often impacts on the act of blaming others. Even if there are elements of that error, we should not absolutely justify that it is someone else’s fault. When we judge others as we think, people will also judge us like that. Good prejudice will actually bear good fruit, as well as bad prejudice. Ask yourself often, what others have given us, so we will realize how much we owe others and have to do good to others.
- We need to remember that problems and conflicts often begin with the presence of an issue or problem feeling disadvantaged. We feel that other people can never fulfill our expectations, not according to our desires, so that demands on other people can become as we expect it to grow. Few people do not suit us, we feel disappointed and in the end can be blamed. In fact, if we think deeply, the thoughts and hopes of others to us are not much different.
How to Stop Playing The Blame Game
False and True it is absolute value
Because sometimes it’s wrong and true it’s very subjective. You might judge it wrong, even though it’s not necessarily his intention to do that for his benefit. It could be that he made a mistake because he really did not know, or indeed pressed for some heavy factors that you never felt. If it is only based on intuition without trying to skin the real problem, then we are trapped in the accusation of accusing and debating the charioteer.
See your shortcomings
You may be good at judging other people, how they make mistakes is really bright in your eyes. But sometimes you forget about all the mistakes you have made yourself, or maybe you are and will make a mistake. Don’t let it do anything bad but you blame a lot of the Sikpa and other people’s behavior.
Make mistakes as a reflection and stepping stone
The mistake in reality must have come to every human being. Sometimes with mistakes made by other people, you like finding a gap to criticize and blaspheme. When the time comes, you don’t realize that your taunts and ridicule hurt you, prepare for one day you will be rewarded with fate and whatever method. People say it’s called karma, if you are afraid, then less noise and ridicule are not useful.
Whether or not our behavior is right, most importantly all actions are based on humanity and the rules that apply around us. With a good intention to criticize, the person who is criticized should also accept gracefully. Even if the intention is to criticize, make sure you have a strong foundation and words that don’t offend someone too deeply. Because heartache is subjective in nature so do not just talk, it needs to be structured if you touch someone’s character before criticizing it.
Don’t Assess Problems From One Side Only
God always says something in pairs, male partners, women, right pair left, and over their partners down. Similarly, in a problem, surely there is not just one side. There is always a positive side and a negative side. For example, like the problem of people giving money to beggars.
We peel this problem from the negative side first. No one aspires to become a beggar, but because of the economic pressure he is forced to become a beggar. Want to work too no one accepts because they do not have expertise. So he was forced to become a very beggar who didn’t need any skills at all. The beginning is only used as a connection to life, now beggars have become permanent professions because the results are very much. Of course this damages a person’s mentality so that he does not want to work hard and expect mercy from others.
The positive side is that we can help others, especially if the person really needs money for money. The one who helps will also get the reward from the good he did earlier.
It is very difficult if faced with a problem that has two different sides. But it would be nice if you have more money channeled to orphanages or community organizations that help poor people. Because the money or assistance we provide will be right on target for people who really need our help.
Wisdom in Making Decisions
Decisions are very crucial when dealing with problems. Every decision taken will have an impact in the future. For this reason in making decisions may not be too fast and may not be too long, but must be wise.
To be able to make wise decisions we must first analyze the problem. After we know what the problem is, then we determine the decision taken. But before we also have to think of all the things that will happen in the future. So that we will not be surprised by the results of the decisions taken.
Apology is something that is easy to say but very difficult to practice. Most people usually don’t want to apologize just because the prestige and ego are too big. Everyone must have prestige and ego, but we must be able to control it all when facing a problem.
The problem will not be solved if you only prioritize the prestige and ego of each. In fact, it is not uncommon for trivial problems to be very big, just because of prestige and ego. For this reason we must be able to apologize sincerely from the heart, not just from the mouth. Apologizing does not mean we are the wrong person in the problem, instead we will be the right person in the matter.
The Hidden Danger of Playing the Blame Game from stop the blame game, source:www.mattmcwilliams.com
Want to Forgive Others
Apology is not enough, it must be accompanied by forgiving others. The best way to apologize, still better if you want to forgive others. So we must be able to apologize and forgive others.
Of all the explanations above we have learned many things. This world is not narrow, but very vast. Problems are not trivial, but very complex. For that we must be able to make wise decisions so as not to blame others. Everyone must have wrong, then we must apologize and forgive too.
Blaming others is the easiest. Hmm, but before blaming others try to think is it true that the wrong is someone else? Before saying someone else is a poison, make sure you are not the poison itself. Are you sure you never upset other people and got angry? Are you sure you don’t have a share with your debates and arguments with other people?
Well, the easiest is to blame others. And what we often don’t realize is that if you have the right to complain, other people have the right to do the same. Conversely, what we often do is feel if we are the only person who has a problem, and other people’s problems are trivial. Conversely, other people’s problems are heavier than us.
Without realizing you are always complaining about a lot of things, work, partners, finances to some people who are not ‘equal’ to you. Well, complaining is okay, but always remember not to let you complain all the time so you forget that the world is not always about you and things you just experience. There are other people whose feelings you need to guard.
Ladies, don’t let your attitude hurt others. When your life is flat and ordinary does not mean you blame other people and then use other people to make your life more exciting. If indeed there are some things that you don’t like to reply with thanks. It could be that the words and praise given to you are sincere from him.
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